It's time to go....

Botanic Angels and demonic scriptwriting.

Autumn colours, Botanic gardens, 17 May 2009

Life continues at a breakneck speed, but today was an easy day - the first in a long while.

It was stunning Autumn day in Sydney. After an untypical and  outrageously long sleep in, we enjoyed a delicious brunch at our local cafe (Two Ants) and after, we took a wander through the Botanic Gardens on our way to see Angels & Demons down at the Dendy Quay. The saturated colour of the plant life out in force was breathtaking and I spent a happy hour snapping away on my camera at all the intensity of life surrounding me. Couples canoodling, individuals reading or just laying in the sun and lots of children running around enjoying the warm sunshine in the gardens - made the experience truly superb. When I wasn't taking a picture, we wandered along the paths with our hands entwined, the silence all pervading and the simple enjoyment of each others company for a change, sure beats working seven days a week!

Botanic Angel, 17 May 2009

Angels and Demons was exactly what I was expecting and Ron Howard is going to make a lot of money. I hated the book beyond belief and only read it through to the end out of pure spite. By the time I was three quarters through it, I was despising Dan Brown and every single character he had ever created and thought it all too obvious a movie. I had very very low expectations of the film and they were marginally exceeded. It's one saving grace were the many young Italian men playing various Roman carbinieri, Swiss Guards and the Vatican security officers. The haunting melody through the soundtrack was also quite pretty,  I suppose.

The story has absolutely everything rammed in bar three wise men and the kitchen sink.  Too too too too much. The acting was constipated and surprisingly, it had the Catholic Church coming up smelling of roses for a change. After a thoroughly disapproving look from the church over The DaVinci Code, Dan Brown will be welcomed back at Mass for this mess with welcome arms. Body of Christ indeed.

St Mary's Cathederal. 17 May 2009. 6.30 pm

Weekend away

I have been working like a madman of late.  HUGE surprise to all those who know me... but, new biz and all, you know... and a boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do...

We did have a weekend down at friend's newly renovated beach house, weekend last.  The only thing that remains of the original house is the lounge room floor boards. The rest - kaput.  I loved the old fibro house though and have so many happy memories from holidays and weekends there.  I will miss its tough salty character and thoroughly relaxed ambience. 

One of my favourite memories is when I broke up from my previous boyfriend, I needed to escape old Sydney town and get my head around the new reality of my life.  I drove south in the afternoon and arrived to find J'n'M sitting quietly on the verandah. J with his paper and M with his cross stitch..  They knew my heart was broken and heavy with hurting and they said nothing to me as I walked up the grass and sat silently into the hammock.  I stared out to the water and watched the grey clouds rolling in.. it was about to rain,  which matched my sorrowful mood  perfectly.  J got up and went inside, and came back out with a pillow for the back of my head.  He gave me a gentle push and I swayed back and forth from under the cover of the verandah to the rain outside which had started to come down, both from the sky and in the floods of tears.  They left me there while I continued to stare out to the lake for what seemed like hours, but am sure was only half an hour or so.

Happy memories also involved the ex-boyfriend pre-ex too, I suppose he was a big part of that house too - pre break up of course.  We'd scoot down on Friday afternoons and arrive in time to cook roast lamb, drink red wine and simply collapse into each others arms and cuddle for hours in front of the open fire and doze, or read, watch a DVD, just unwinding from usually frantic weeks at work.  It was just heaven.  

However, the new place is the most stunning weekender a boy ever did see, so we had a little party to celebrate a birthday and an opening of the new house. 

Huge decks front and back, so you can have water views this way and that and if you get bored with those, go sit out the back and look at the amazing green garden instead.  The hammock will be back again soon and I have already started mentally booking in some 'rocking' time. This time though, Rich and I can start our own memories of the new place and start afresh.  No tears this time... but the red wine, roast lamb and endless hours of cuddling in front of the open fire is a definite!

One night we had a storm and that afternoon prior, the sky was amazing simply for its light... I was down at the beach snapping away at some windsurfing boys and the results speak for themselves. I'm very happy with the results. I am about to start a photographic course specialising in night time photography. Fingers crossed I will learn lots of new techniques I can apply to my whiz bang camera.  Click the pics from last weekend to enlarge for luscious detail!

Enjoy!

The PM x

What a nice day!

I employed someone today. I don't think too many businesses are doing that right now... but I've always enjoyed being different. It is actually a really nice feeling asking someone to come join your company and have them say yes.  They put their faith in you and they trust that you'll be able to let them live, party, travel, explore and grow in their skills and also, and most importantly, grow as human beings.  Then they can also go out and buy gorgeous clothes and really beautiful shoes and keep all our wheels turning!  The role is only casual at the moment, but she will definitely move into full time when the figures hit their next target - likely to be next week or the one after,  the rate things are going....

I have so many plans for this little company that it will probably burst at the seams in the next twelve months. I can cope with burst... wouldn't like flop... My fear has always been having it grow too fast that it gets out of control and the systems, processes and banks couldn't keep up with the pace of change. But we're keeping a very tight reign and a fiscally responsible attitude on who we do business with.  We are not going to be left holding someone else's bad debts, bad decisions or even worse, bad fashion choices. Yikes! But as I said, it is going along swimmingly, so I'll just shut up and enjoy the ride.

I have recently discovered Madonna's 'American Life' album. Avoided it like the plague when it first came out, but I think it was not of it's time. There are a few tracks that are pretty so so, but there are also a few which should be included in amongst the classics... 'Love Profusion' is great , but the standout and my current favourite is 'Nothing fails'. It has hit a note with me (boom-tish) and I can't stop playing it. Genius pop music!  Having said that, she should disappear off the radar for a while and reinvent herself, like ya do.... and as she does. She is not looking so pretty, clever or amazing right now.  I'll print her a T shirt with "Absence makes the heart grow fonder..." on the front.  See if she wears it...

I am also a bit in love with an old Buddha Bar at the moment - #9. These songs all feature on Disc 1 and I really can;t get enough of them.  They suit the new office perfectly and put us in a great mood to get on with our fashioning.

Flight BA0247 - Mystic Diversions


Yes boss - Hess is more


Koop Island Blues - Koop

Wood Street - Serafim Tsotsonis

Enjoy!

The PM x

Mum and Me

Hello once more...

Chris in NYC gave me a bit of a nudge this week to get the old fingers back into gear, which was funny, as I was already getting them warmed up. I have three unfinished blog posts in my computer that I have been struggling with. Having not written for an age I am having trouble finding my 'voice' again. I am sure it is here somewhere - I just need to keep writing quietly in the background and eventually it will return, I suppose.

A big part of the reason for my blogging absence is that it has been such a monumental year so far and we’re only nudging at April.

January saw our new company get off the ground, renovating a disused quarter of a warehouse and turning it into a fantastic creative and practical space. It was all very scary when you decide to leave a salaried position to start a new business - just as the world plunges into a financial recession and people suddenly stop buying things. But I have not felt so overwhelmingly positive about anything in my life as I have about this. It feels right, deep in my in my hearts of hearts, so it is important to stay positive and stay focused on what you are good at. The rest falls into place as you go along. Everyone thinks we're completely mad, of course, but, so far, our financial targets have been met, surpassed and now totally smashed. The avalanche of work that is coming in is enormous and we haven't even approached the new customers I wanted to bring on board yet, so we are breathing a little easier on one front. Of course, we need to bring in new teamsters quickly to control the ‘getting out of hand’ workload.

I have started eyeing off the next quarter of the building with floorplans and continuations of colour schemes already planned in my head. Eventually I want to move the ‘apple store’ (as my two desks have been dubbed) upstairs and onto the east side of the building so I can have city views to stare at when I am deciding what you’ll all be wearing next season...

So, while all of this has been going on, I have been jumping on planes at every available opportunity and heading home to spend as much time with my Mum as I could. We had known for a while that she had limited time left, so we had to make the most of it that we could.

After such a long, long fight, she passed away on Thursday, Feb 19, aged 56, with her three sons by her side.

Our last photo together, 1 Feb 2009

I recieved the long dreaded call from my brother at midnight on Wednesday 18th asking us to jump on a plane as fast as we could - the Dr. had advised to get the family together ASAP.  After a long and sleepless night, Rich and I were on the 6am flight to Brisbane the next morning and made it home by 7.30am. I walked in and they left us alone for a little while.  I kissed and held her as tight as I could, considering how fragile she was.  "Naughty naughty" was her response to my floods of tears.  Invincible to the end, that is my Mum. We spent the early morning talking a little, but her mouth was dry and she couldn't talk very well.  I gave her crushed ice to chew on a little, but she wasn't even managing that any more. Over the course of the day, our entire family turned up to be with her. Her father and sister arrived first and that was the start of the floods of tears as we all faced this overwhelming moment together. By lunch time, Mum started to drift into unconsciousness, her room was quite chaotic - I'm not even sure if that is the right word... but a bedroom with 20 people in it crying is not peaceful.

The ‘death rattle’, that awful noise as the body shuts down, also contributed to a less than peaceful afternoon. But no one wanted to leave, especially Mum, so the day was long and sorrowful for us all. Eventually, people began to wander out for a break and by 7pm it was just the five of us. Eliot, Allister, his wife Tammy and myself, sitting on the bed holding our Mum’s hands.

Once the room was quiet, we started to talk about the funny stories and the mischief, mayhem and merriment that she had led us in over the years. We were all laughing gently as her breathing slowed and she came awake for a few special minutes. She looked at us, squeezed our hands and Eliot said "you know we all love you" and she blinked.... "it is ok to go, you know", she blinked again and then she was gone. Just like that.

I cannot find the words to describe the finality of death.  That moment that she left, her whole body changed - it was so obvious her spirit was no longer there.  It didn't even really look like her any more.  It is bizarre.

The amazing nurse who had been taking such great care of her at home told us afterwards that she really picked her moment to go. It was quiet and we were remembering the good times and that was all she really wanted from us. “Remember the fun”, she told us, “not the pain and not the misery that seemed to have stalked us for so long”.

So this year brings an immense part of my life to a close. The thee amazing women who have been central in my life since my birth, are now all gone. My Nana, whom I would not have survived childhood and adolescence without, died six years ago, my Aunt, Leila, who was my Sydney family for the past twenty years, died two years ago and now my Mum. They have all given me so much love, strength, encouragement and support though out my life, I simply owe them everything.

It has been such a hard few months and I am sure there are still many tears left to come. It hasn’t been as bad a roller coaster as I was expecting however. Maturity and experience have helped smooth out the peaks and the troughs, so the roller coaster ride I was expecting is more of a dodgem car ride, which is a nice turn about.

Shanghai from my hotel room - morning to night

Fortunately, I have the new Co. to keep me focused and wonderfully distracted. I have just had a week in China, which I didn’t love so much. The pollution is truly outrageous, as their manufacturing industry just hurls out so much waste, seemingly unchecked by the government. I have swallowed a great lump of this muck that has stuck itself to the inside of my lungs, which I am not coping with. I also travelled with a smoker who just lit up whenever she felt the need, usually when I was trapped in a car or a small office and was forced to decide which air was worse – the immediate nicotine or put the window down and let the soup outside the window in… augh! She was too desperate to wait and I was too polite to say anything, so I am coughing up all this black muck now I am home. 

Qingdao, about an hours flight north of Shanghai. That is the ocean in the background. See... the lovely blue stuff...

Smoking Girl ended up sick in hospital in Hangzhou in the end from a very bad tooth infection. Now that is an experience you don’t want to have to endure, even when you are fit and healthy! A poor man had fallen off his bike and had cut his face open from top to toe. Bleeding profusely, he was ousted from his chair so my colleague could receive preferential treatment, so down she sat, only to then have 25 people peer into her mouth. ‘Egad’ I was thinking. Other patients and their families were all in the room as well – it looked like the finale from Miss Saigon – a cast of thousands, all watching the Smoking Girl getting poked and prodded. Awful!

There was one very special highlight and that was dinner at 'M on the Bund' in Shanghai. I met up with David, whom I had met in Sydney and his new boyfriend, Steph, both of whom are models, working their way around the world through the fashion capitals as the seasons dictate. It was a seriously sensational night and one of those 'wow' moments that come along every so often in life.   I would have adored telling my Mum all about and she would have loved hearing. I was dressed in top to toe black Armani and I looked and felt completely at home. I always manage to intimidate people in these clothes back here, but it does have a place in this world and I realise it is too dressed up for casual-focused Sydney. Shanghai though is the focus of international manufacturing now, so, I was not alone in my serious fashion moment. There was a whole room full of us!

Enough of the nonsense though… what else is going on? NY Chris asked how life in Elizabeth Bay was going… so apart from some of the above, life remains simply grand. We have one weekend this April at home, the rest away, out of town. We’re staying on a ‘Polo’ farm in Scone for Easter, cooking for a friend’s birthday in their newly and exquisitely renovated beach house the next and then running away to Byron Bay the week after, for what I am sure will be enormous amounts of laughter. I am exhausted already!

I still haven’t told you about the last trip to Europe – which was nothing short of outrageously amazing and a few other bits and pieces from the end of last year that I could talk about. There is a house to buy this year, study, a photography course for me to go on, more overseas travelling for work ahead and maybe a quick trip somewhere quiet and less peopled for both of us to recharge our batteries… all tbc of course…. But it is going to be another action packed, fun filled full on year and hopefully the hardest bits are behind me now.

Love from the PM x

Hello again friendly people!

I haven’t been around these here parts for such a long time… it really feels it like it was lifetimes ago.  Life has been led at nothing short of turbo boosted maniacal hectic warp speed since I last put fingers to keyboard and belted out some sort of nonsense for you to read about.

So, where to begin?  What to say? What to do???  I suppose the basics can do, just to begin with… so…

Him and I are still merrily ensconced at Lovesville central here in Elizabeth Bay.  Life is totally grand on that front.  We noticed our 12-month anniversary shooting past while we were on a plane going somewhere or other. It may have been Melbourne, to visit some of Rich’s old dancing friends who were out here performing in Edward Scissorhands, methinks. He used to be a dancer, right before his knees gave way, so we caught up with some of his nearest and dearest who’s knees have held up under the constant strain of trillions of twist’s, turns and twirls.  It was a fun weekend, I recall, as we reveled in the four seasons in three spring days weekend that was ours.  It is interesting too, many months on since I returned from the Melbourne experiment, that I have found out what that particular experience was all about. I really had to leave Sydney for a while, just to break the tired old behavior’s that I was playing out on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.  I also went down there to meet someone amazing and who is about to play a massive and significant role in my life for 2009.  It really was love at first sight, which I have told her entire family on more than a few occasions, including her father… at her wedding not so long ago… More about that later… but it is funny looking back when you realize the reasons for things… well, for once, I found out exactly what Melbourne was for.

Our apartment is looking completely gorgeous and we seem to have settled in to a never-ending cavalcade of eager guests arriving for scrum-didly-umptious food, wine, mirth, merriment and mayhem, which we all enjoy in abundance. Our walls are swelling with lovely art - the plants have taken over the balcony like it is an outpost of the botanic gardens and once you are embedded in the three man sofa, it’s simply not possible to extract yourself, such is the quick sand nature of its comfort. I’ve actually lost track of the number of times I have fallen asleep watching a movie. Even with guests, it’s naptime.  Such bliss.  Speaking of movies, we bought the world biggest LCD television and home theatre system a few weeks back and we have renamed our apartment the Elizabeth Bay Megaplex. It has changed our movie viewing life and we still don’t watch TV, even though it now coming at us in a digital format, which looks startlingly 3D.  Sadly, there is still nothing of any nutritional value or any real consequence that draws us to channel this or that, but the films now have that extra ‘just like being at the cinema’ factor to them.

We’ve been around the world since we last chatted, having spent a deliriously amazing time in England, Italy and France.  

The stories from our trip could keep the blog going for the next six months alone, but I won’t bore you all to sobs about how amazing this place was or how glam that place is or the cost of our excess baggage out of Heathrow… actually, I will tell you, because it is funny and I have never seen anyone except for the Queen Of Tonga get away with so much for so little… it was A$ 1800.  Rich so very nearly burst into tears when the Singapore Airlines man said the figure out loud as we stood at the check-in counter. I have never seen a bottom lip quiver so much without actual torrents of tears flowing.  Me, myself, was so stunned I didn’t actually respond.  I just stood there utterly motionless, watching Rich’s lower lip wobbling about like a kiddies wadding pool with ten or twelve children in it.  Nevertheless, it worked a treat and we were ushered onto the jet plane with our credit cards still fully functioning and in the upright position. As we walked away from the counter, Rich did have one lone tear zigzag down his cheek, out of pure relief and just as a further aside – yes, the shopping was truly great!

Not everything has been dreamy and wonderful though… life always has it’s checks and balances if it sees you having too much fun. My mum is still with us, just…. Her now skeletal frame is powering on, keeping her wit and grace going.  She has recently turned 56 years, which is wonderful, considering we were told she wasn’t going to see 55.  I still find her strength and resilience for life utterly humbling, but re-assuring too. Oh to have even ten percent of that power within me would be wonderful.

My grandfather (mums dad) has also decided that he’s had enough and has refused any further treatment after they removed a 2-foot long tumor from his bowel on Wednesday. The race is on, I suppose.

I’m off to Vegas tomorrow night for a few days with mum and my baby brother who is not so baby any more. 6” 5 tall now, he is a giant in the house in both stature and maturity.  I like him lots… he is so similar to me, but a more modern version, crafted under very different life circumstances. We’re friends, which I sort of wasn’t expecting, but he is a taller newer version of me, so it’s not that much of a stretch to find common ground I suppose.

It’s been nice writing again… I have missed it and the way it uses my brain in a different manner to usual. I will keep it up this time and try and re-connect with all those lovely people with whom I was chatting on such a regular basis, last time I was kicking about in this place. I have received your emails – so thanks to those of you who have given me the encouragement to get these fingers going again

Have a great weekend!

The PM x

I haven’t started committing the holiday stories to the computer just yet. Jetlag has really reduced my synapses to mush this week, so am avoiding writing anything meaningful till my brain gets back into gear again.

Consequently, I was awake at three am yesterday, so thought I would get out of bed & take some pics with my new camera (which I am just loving) of a Sydney winter sunrise. The pics really remind me of “The Winds of War” mini series that was on TV here in the early 80’s… the dramatic windswept distance shots. It was a very still morning, with absolutely no breeze, which is why the clouds hadn’t moved very much through the 15 minutes that I took the pictures over.

I was over at Pete’s reading about his renovated balcony & said to him that if he put a pic up, I would do the same. Like mine, his balcony has a green outlook which I really couldn’t live without. I am up on the 3rd floor & this is the highest I have ever lived above the ground in my life. With my fear of heights, it has sometimes been a challenge being this far up & while I am generally ok, I am looking forward to getting back to terra firma with the next address.

I have three balcony shots. The first is the day we moved in. Very empty & white. The balcony really sold us on this apartment. It was flooded with buckets of brilliant sunshine & a lovely view of the sparkling harbour as well. Perfect! The whole apartment is filled with light actually with massive windows in each room.

The last shot was taken this afternoon, with all my plants happily ensconced in their new home. The strelitzia just loves its position & has delivered its first flower in time for our return from Europe. What a clever & gorgeous plant!

We have a fun night ahead of us tonight…. fun kids are on their way over for an early dinner of Lamb shank casserole & then we’re off to Sex in the City. Fingers crossed I get to stay awake long enough!

Enjoy!

The PM x

BIG thank you to Outsports for the pics....

...and a BIG thank you to Finland for giving this man to us!

A thousand tales....

Well I'm back home again, after a seriously sensational four weeks around the Uk, Italy &  a sombre Paris, which was mourning the loss of one of its giants, Yves Matthias Saint Laurent.  

I have stories of adventures & misadventures too. Stories of people, places & faces. Stories of shoes, socks & jeans to boot. I literally have stories coming out of my ears, but it will take a little time to get it all out of my current jelly head & onto a screen near you.  I think I have enough blog posts in my head for the next six months, or perhaps longer. I have 5500 photo's to edit, sort & print, of which you will only hopefully see the best, or most interesting...

I'm not going to start tonight though, as jetlag has turned my brain to a bowl of cottage cheese sitting in the midday sun. When I move my head, it takes my eyes about two or three seconds to play catch up & re-focus.  Not fun.  Need sleep. Need to be back in this time zone - fast.

I went back to work yesterday & spent most of the day laughing at my inability to function properly.  Brenton laughed at my typing mistakes, food went to my cheek, instead of my mouth & coffee went on the floor. Necklines suddenly had sleeves coming out of them & maybe perhaps I have inadvertently started a new surrealist movement?

So, in the meantime, I offer up to the blogosphere, some pictorial delights that caught my eye along the way.

Enjoy!

The PM x

Some lovely things from France

Aurelien Rougerie, Rugby player

Some lovely things from England

Attitude, June 08

And some lovely things from France again
TETU, June 08

Crisp white, pure cotton shirts

Baked Atlantic salmon
Black & white photographs
Kisses of every persuasion, whether they be stolen, cheeky, sweet or perfectly loving
The intoxicating fumes of Jasmine at sunset

Paris

Black
A hand written letter on beautiful paper
Family
Rain rain rain and more rain
Every shade of blue
Bang & Olufson

Florence

Dancing, drinking & laughing all night with my friends
Passion
Falling asleep
Waking up
Using ‘&’ instead of typing ‘and’
Having lots of energy

Fresh organic produce & whole foods

Swimming in the rain
Dark tan coloured lamb skin leather
‘L’amour’

Weekends away from the city, be they in the soothing country or by the blissful sea
Dark, deep, inky denim
Good friends
Naughty friends too
Striped socks of insane colour combinations
Random acts of kindness
Loose, sparkling, yellow diamonds

‘Chatsworth’, Derbyshire, England

The first swim of a new summer season

Giant white lilies against masses of dark green foliage

k.d.lang singing
Drinking red wine as I cook for my friends
The quiet moments of an early morning sunrise when everyone else is still asleep
Indian ink drawings

Byzantine mosaics, frescoes & sculptures

Random acts of affection
18 Caledonian Hill, where my Nana lived & I spent most of my rare happy days as a child
Charcoal Grey
European languages
Willies
Tired muscles from gym workouts
‘Déjà vu’
The smell of new born puppies
Macchiato’s

Wood ducks

Madeline Peyroux singing


Driving in Italy
Apple’s powerbooks, ipods and iphones

Storms over Umbria

Making love in the afternoon
New York
‘Frette’ bed linen in calming shades of white & cafe latte
Day dreaming
‘The very thought of you’, sung by Al Bowly
Long, loud belly laughs
Baptiste yoga
30’s jazz

Story time for kids

Fresh, oversized, soft white towels

The infinite coral pinks & sky blues of a Fraser Island summer sunset
Dancing slowly, cheek to cheek

The intensely red poppies, growing wild in the Italian countryside

Ella Fitzgerald singing
Being able to forgive (I continue to work hard on this one…)
The future

Two more sleeps...

Not long to go now and I am simply exhausted from the lead up to it. Life is full throttle at the moment, so the R&R of just getting on the plane is going to be welcomed with open arms.

Pic above is an image I found in the March edition of Italian Vogue. Bruce Weber has taken a few pictures, of which this man is one. Great bum, methinks. Hope the rest of you enjoy looking at it too!

I'm off to bed, to dream of sheep, as Kate Bush once sang....

The PM x

Three more sleeps now.....

It’s just been one of those weeks, I suppose. Roller coaster to the extreme. Happy, thrilled and excited one minute... angry, terrified, upset and fearing death the next. I have had relative smooth sailing of late, as far as my family and it's general health goes, but I wasn't expecting the quick storm to blow up so close to us away…. As you may have noticed, I have been reasonably excited about our trip away and have been doing the “how many sleeps” countdown…

Everything was a little derailed this week with news of a freshly discovered tumour in one of my cousins. We had been enjoying a brief reprieve of late from the big ‘C’ word. My mum is on a new drug trial and it seems to be doing truly wonderful things. We were told to prepare for her to be gone by last December and now she seems to be doing nothing but getting stronger and better with this new drug discovery they have made. But my cousin has sideswiped us all with her news and has taken a little of the shine off our European break. Luckily, I suppose, she has able to hold off till we are back before she goes in for a double mastectomy. I need to be around for support duties during this period, so I will do my best to relax and enjoy some level of peace before we arrive back home and launch into this next round of cancer punch-ups.

We’ve had this weekend away, which has been truly lovely, but got back into town early enough this afternoon to catch up with Brenton and Sam for a latte or two and lots of laughs at the Bourke St Bakery. It was freezing, sitting on milk crates in the cold wind, but as Sam pointed out, we were kept warm with the comradery of each others company, which was fairly true!



Sam is pretty excited about the arrival of his fiancé next week from the US, though it has been bought into balance of the news of his next deployment, which I have to say has upset me a bit too. I don’t want any of my friends in harms way unnecessarily, but it is his job and he is very good at it, so I trust that the gods will look after him and bring him back home to us again in one piece. I have to say he looks genuinely relaxed and settled in a way I have not seen before which is really wonderful for him… this girl he has met must be a pretty special person so I look forward to meeting her when we get back.

Brenton was excited about his next project… standing naked in a room with a mask on….. his doodle strategically covered in gold male and a bunch of muscatel grapes...he hoped….. mmmmm … ok……. B was his usual wonderful self…. Men have no idea what they are missing out on. Catch of the century there…. Someone smart will figure it out one day, I am sure and whisk him away from us, to a huge castle somewhere….

I have a new toy to play with as well, in the form of an Olympus E-510 digital SLR camera, which is where are our pics today are from… I have wanted to explore this artistic medium for such a long time and have a short course organised for when we get back to go learn myself some new skills with these uber clever machines. I have bought some filters, extra lens’s and a tricky italian tripod for catching some of the especially brilliant landscapes that the Umbrian countryside purportedly has to offer. India is our next trip planned for March next year, so hopefully, my skill level will have increased by then for me to be able to capture some really cool pix over there. I am expecting very little from this trip, as far as OMG pix go, but you never know, beginners luck may see me catch something wonderful and inspiring this trip away.

Three more sleeps and we’re off, sitting in lovely comfy seats, feeling the awesome power of the shiny new Singapore Airlines A380 pushing us back in our seats as we take off, leaving Sydney behind…. The weather forecast for the UK is not looking so chipper… but fortunately, I adore the rain so bring it on, I say. Just so long as Italy is sun-filled, and Paris is somewhere in between, then I will be the happiest boy in the world.

Just three more sleeps….. three..........

The PM x

9 more sleeps...

...and I can wander the never ending hallways of the Louvre...

My current lust objet du jour...

I have hung up my lust goggles for the tall dark and handsome Mr White. He remains as lovely as ever, but I am feeling a call back to my natural hair colour preferences.... and fashion does move on....

Doing the rounds of the fashion shows from last season, I keep discovering this young man and finding myself stopping for a second look each and every time. I actually looked five times when I found the pic on the right of his smooth perfect chest teasingly covered up. I am about to start searching the winter 09 collections hoping to find more of this young mans face...

I have no idea what his name is - maybe one of you out there will be clever enough to let me know - but I think he looks like he could be the sort of boy you take home to mum! Not for me of course, of course, as I found the man to take home to my mum, not to mention the massive age difference between us, but maybe he might get along with my good friend Brenton....? Six degree of separation shouldn't prove too hard to get them together????

10 more sleeps...

... and I have disappeared into the crowd at a little cafe, where I can sit and watch the world go by... all day....

12 more sleeps... and Pelican Sam

Now I know this image has nothing to do with my impending Parisian holiday whatsover, or even how many sleeps are left to go before we leave.... but I saw his picture this morning and have been distracted all day and I keep thinking how nice it would be to have 12 sleeps with him!

Nevertheless....

Sydneysiders woke this morning to a glorious autumn morning - the sun was pushing the curtains open from the sheer volume of rays coming our way. I sleepily wandered out to the balcony, scratching my belly like boys do when they wake up, but I could barely get my eyes open from the amount of sunshine pouring down onto me and my freshly scratched belly. The harbour was sparkling insanely. The water looked like it had been standing under every exploding glitter ball ever set free at Mardi Gras, Sleaze ball and Harbour party all at the same time. It had simply overdosed on super shiny silvery shimmering sequins. At the risk of sounding even more gay, it was just ‘wow!’. What a way to wake up!

We had a busy day, starting with all the Saturday morning essentials, like gym and laundry, then, once home again, a big bowl of fresh steaming rolled oats, covered in stewed, plump, purple plums, while we both read the papers in relative silence. ‘The Australian’ for me – The ‘SMH’ for Rich.

Going back a few weeks though, I have one of those sad stories to share that remind you how fragile and incredible this planet is that we live on. Last Saturday, Rich and I were walking into our gym in Alexandria and noticed a pelican sitting down in the canal that ran along side the building our gym was in.

These particular canals had made the front page of the news that very morning as being the most polluted waterways in the southern hemisphere. Rich and I looked at each other and thought that it was not a good place for a Pelican to be…



We went inside, grunted, groaned and sweated for a bit and when we came back out, Mr Pelican was still there. Very still. It was amazing his feet hadn’t melted off, from just sitting in the canal, from what I had read, so we decided that we couldn’t leave him sitting there like that and we had to get him out.

Mmmmm we thought….

I called WIRES and they tried to raise one of the volunteers to come out and get him out for us, but no luck. It was a long weekend and a lot of people were away. An hour later, I called them back and asked that if we could get him out of the canal ourselves, was there a vet nearby they could recommend I take him to? They gave me a few names of local vets and told me that the Fire Brigade might also be able to send a truck out with a ladder if they weren’t busy… WIRES
gave me an office number, as it wasn’t an emergency, so I called them up, told them the story and they said not a problem!

Less than two minutes later, a big shiny red fire truck pulled up and out hopped six big strapping firemen. Heaven! While we were walking up to the canal from the road, I heard sirens. I looked a bit embarrassed and said “gawd, it’s only a pelican” and the fireman I was talking to said “Yeah, it’ll be the Redfern boys – obviously bored! We’re from Alexandria station and we were on our way down to Bunning’s when we heard the call, so we thought we’d stop”

So there we all were, twelve tall and genuinely handsome firemen, two big shiny red trucks, Rich, me and one sick, sad and lonely Pelican.

Over the side of the bridge went a ladder with one Fireman attached as well, slowly descending into the toxic muck. When he saw the fireman come, he moved a little and tried to wander away, but his strength was failing him, so he sat back down again, only to have Fireman Sam wrap his arms around him and bring him back up the ladder, out of the muck, where he was promptly handed over to me for safe keeping.



So, here now I was, with this very large sick bird wrapped in towels in my arms. He was really very weak and gave not one inch of struggle to be free. His big head wobbled and I held his long delicate beak up for him as we slid gently into the back seat of my car.



I had been physically close to pelicans before, maybe a few feet, but never this close and their size is a little overwhelming – especially in the backseat of a hatchback. His beak nearly reached the opposite window, but not quite, so I held it up for him and rested my elbow on the armrest. He blinked his big black eye at me a few times, I’m sure to say “thank you for getting me out of that mucky drain”.

Rich drove us over to Taronga Zoo animal hospital where we had arranged to take him. Going through the harbour tunnel, he closed his eyes for a bit and I did start thinking “please don’t die on my lap like this, please, please please….” But out into the sunshine again on the other side, he opened his eyes again and blinked a few more times at me. They were such helpless, sad and resigned blinks I nearly cried there and then.

After winding through the awful traffic that you find in Mosman on a Saturday morning - actually, every morning - kids and mums squealing as they looked down from their 4x4’s into my back seat to see an enormous white bird sitting there… but about 40 mins later, we arrived at the hospital and the nurse took us through to the back, where we weighted him (4.2kg’s) and sat him in a pen under a warm light and said our farewells. Details were taken and the nurse said to call back in a few days to find out how he was going.

I called Taronga on the Wednesday and the vet who answered the phone gave me the news that he had died that night. Pelican Sam, so named after the fireman who rescued him, was indeed a young male adult, less than a year old and had severe blood poisoning. By the time we had got him there, it was too late and there was nothing they could do to help him. She thanked me for bringing him in though and kept talking for a while, but I had already had tears running down my face and had stopped listening. Stupid I know, but I felt I had made a connection with this beautiful bird, as it sat in my arms fighting for his life. His eyes looked straight at me and seemed to say thanks. Crazy loopy I know, but it was a real moment.

I was really astounded by how soft his feathers were, on his head, as well as his body, and the weightlessness of his body, compared to his physical size. I also have to say that it was a real privilege to have had this astonishingly beautiful animal in my company for a few hours.

The other sad part is that our illustrious State Government doesn't want to clean up the canals because it is too hard. I wonder how long before we are holding humans in our arms who are dying from the toxins and poisons in this waterway that has been polluted to the point of winning the title "The most toxic waterway in the southern hemisphere"

13 more sleeps...

.. and I can already feel the thrill of seeing "le Tour" again...

14 more sleeps....

My first proper holiday in a few years is about to happen and I can hardly wait. I have already gone into shut down mode at work. I am determined to be relaxed by the time I fall into my big fat upper deck seat on the big fat double decker jet!

I have never been to London, so this will be a treat, except I am meeting the in-laws, so perhaps I'll reserve my definition of 'treat' until the hard part is over. His parents are divorced and re-partnered, so I have two sets of families to smile engagingly at for extended periods. We'll warm up with good friends in London first though, staying right in the heart of things in Oxford Circus at Rich's ex- boss's house before we head North to Nottingham, where his family all reside.

About 10 days later, we escape to Rome, but jump straight into a rent-a-Golf and head north into the countryside of Umbria, where a rustic looking, but modernly renovated villa will house us very comfortably for a week. It has a pool,an orchard and breathtaking views over golden hills and a winery nearby. Small, ancient villages to explore surround us when we are tired of doing nothing. It's going to be magic!

After that is all done, we reach the part of the holiday closest to my heart - Paris! We'll settle into Hotel Therese, which is seems to be at the centre of my universe. Google earth tells me its about 4 minutes walk to the Louvre max, so it really does appear to be right in the thick of things!

Then it's back to London for a day before we jump back in the big fat double decker bus back home. I already don't want to come back home and I haven't even left yet.

As part of the fun and games of the lead up to my leaving, the girls at work all get the countdown each morning in their in-box's, so I though't I'd share with you as well... it started a few days back from 17 sleeps to go, so here we go... and there I go!

The PM x

14 more sleeps and I already feel lost, wandering aimlessly in a strange new street....

15 more sleeps and I can already feel the cool, crisp early morning Parisian air blowing gently on the back of my neck as I wander down a cobbled street in search of a new adventure each day…

16 more sleeps and I can already taste that first warm, buttery, flaky croissant touching my lips…

17 more sleeps… and I can feel the warm summer mornings of Paris running through my veins already…

Blackbird - Sydney Theatre Company

Well… this is my third re-write of this post but I’ve realised that what I’m trying to say is only becoming clear as I put distance between the event and myself. My emotions have settled and the incredibly strong reaction I had and the disconcerted feelings of ‘ick’ have subsided. I guess it’s all part of the process.

Quite a few weeks back now, a good friend and I went to see ‘Blackbird’, one of the Sydney Theatre Company’s new plays, directed by Cate Blanchett. The only thing I knew of the show prior to that evening was that it was Cate’s directorial debut and that critics had given it the thumbs up, despite the ‘difficult subject matter’.



I am not usually a dramatic theatre-goer; my preferences run towards the Opera, concerts and art house movies. I do go and see the occasional stage play and even enjoy them sometimes, though ‘Holding the Man’ at the Opera House left me a bit cold last year. Ballet and contemporary dance leaves me sleepy, but, being the big adventurer that I am, I will always embrace an opportunity to do something different and push my boundaries...

I ran down the stairs all wide-eyed and excited to meet my theatre buddy who was waiting for me in a taxi. It was raining cats and dogs and few horses as well as I jumped in the car waiting directly outside my building. I was laughing loudly at how thoroughly drenched I’d managed to get between curb and car. It was only after I put the seat belt on and looked up to say hello that I was greeted by entirely the wrong man sitting next to me.

‘Oh…Hello!’ as total surprise, confusion and utter delight fell out of me in response. He was stunningly gorgeous! His mega-watt smile beamed right at me, illuminating the slipping and dripping water down my forehead, as he bemusedly pointed out I was obviously in the wrong car. My eyes stupidly searched the vacant front seat for the correct buddy….hoping. A horn tooted and I turned to find another taxi behind us, clearly containing the appropriate people… As I disappointedly climbed out of my first choice of vehicle, leaving Mr Hot Potato, I passed his very gorgeous date/girlfriend/wife/sister as she waited on the curb for me to vacate her seat. (I am sure it was his sister, considering my current geography!)

I shrugged, said my farewells, we both continued to smile and wished each a great evening ahead.

Transport antics sorted… and yes, I was now doubly soaked after additional and unplanned car hopping, we finally made it to the theatre. Grabbing the program and two spicy, but warming glasses of shiraz, we took up residence on the rain swept balcony and read the précis of the evening ahead. Our light-hearted mood started its progress south as the bells tolled their knell, calling us to our seats.

So, to the précis, for those who haven’t seen the play:

A woman, late twenties tracks down an early 50-something man with whom who she had an affair - when she was 12. At the time he was 30-something. He went to jail. She and her family stayed right in the neighbourhood where they were and suffered the consequences of a very public incident. Fifteen years after the event, she tracks him down….



Now you see how this suddenly goes from being an evening of potential ‘entertainment’ directed by the gorgeous, glamorous and extremely talented Ms Blanchett to an “ok… here we go’ scenario. The first half of the play explored the ramifications of his behaviour and actions on her and the fallout of the event to her family. So far, so hard going.

Then came the twist and the second half we’re exposed to the ‘other side of the story’ - of how, as a 12-year-old girl, she had pursued him past the point of stalking and did everything she could to encourage and instigate their relationship. There is no doubt, I squirmed. ‘Uncomfortable’ is the understatement of the century. It challenged all my ‘very set in concrete’ views on this particular subject. All my beliefs, my pre-conceptions, my judgements were pulled up and set out in front of me for re-arranging – which is never an enjoyable process, less so in a public space.



I suppose I need to state for the record what they are, so here goes. People who sexually abuse children need to be hung by the neck until dead. Castrated first, actually, then hung. Simple. I think the money spent keeping them from society could be far better spent on important and worthwhile pursuits for humanity. I have no sympathy for the perpetrators of these crimes and there is no avenue for negotiation on my stance.

SO WHY WAS I SQUIRMING? SURELY IF THERE’S NO ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION, THE DISCUSSION WOULDN’T HAVE BOTHER ME?

What made me squirm though, is that it is not always black and white – although, that still doesn’t excuse the actions of the adult who should have said no.

Sitting, watching the show, all I could think of was why was he out of jail? Why wasn’t he rotting in a dark, dank cell, devoid of light and warmth? The second half of the play was what made me twist in my seat, challenging all of my belief systems. It reminded me of a girl I knew when I was an early teenager. She was 10 or eleven and highly sexualised. I remember BBQ’s, school dances, fete’s and public events where this girl would flirt outrageously with the good looking dads where ever possible. At the time, I remember thinking to myself, that she is going to get some feeble minded man into trouble one day. I don’t know if she eventually did. She wasn’t a part of my social circle, but I knew her by reputation through high school, where her behaviour remained unchanged from what I heard. So, watching this play, I personally knew of a girl like this, which perhaps made it all the more harder, because of my beliefs on this subject.

My hardened view comes from my being a first hand witness to the physical, spiritual and emotional damage caused from this crime. From how it has effected, and continues to effect some of the people around me. It is such a catastrophic event for a child to be exposed to, that the damage never goes away. Too often it becomes ‘what their life is about’. As adults, it takes incredible and overwhelming bravery and strength for people to deal with it, as invariably, it has been buried away deeply for years. In some cases it is never to resurface, but it’s always there, simmering away underneath, causing any number of subconscious issues to boil away, ready to explode, or implode, at any moment.

You won’t always see or know what has happened to someone without an admission or some inside knowledge. Humans develop incredible mechanisms to protect ourselves from continued harm, and ways of disguising it as well – behaviour that is not always or immediately understood by those who haven’t been through a similar experience.

Sitting at a dinner a few nights later, the conversation turned to the play and the wrenching reaction it provoked in me. As I recalled events from a few years back when I tried to help a much loved one through the ‘coming out and healing’ process, I found the tears just took over. As I recalled his immediate families almost indifferent reaction to the knowledge of what had happened to their then 10-year-old son, the anger and pain I felt for this damaged little soul all came back all on it’s own. Even re-reading and writing this again tonight, still sees me wiping my eyes again and it is so many years later and I wasn’t even the victim. Perhaps I should toughen up a bit…

But for the people, no matter how hard they try to forget, bury or deny, it is something that lives inside them forever. This is why I feel the way that I do.

So, as a piece of theatre, ‘Blackbird’ is very well done. The story is crafted with precision and is incredibly potent at starting discussion and challenging the status quo. Entertaining? For me, no. My theatre buddy also came away wanting to take a long hot shower with a scrubbing brush…

Has my point of view changed in the time since? Probably not. I always do and will always feel very protective towards all of the children in and around my life. If I found out that something has happened to a child I knew, I think I’d have a very hard time remaining rational and coherent towards an alleged perpetrator. Lets just hope I never have to find out. Ever again.

The PM x


If someone is reading this and has something buried deep down in the dark that can’t face, I want to send you some strength to help clear this out of you. The hardest part is taking the first step to getting help. You aren’t alone. There are lots of places to go with wonderful people who will help with dignity, kindness and love.

Surviving sexual abuse – Young men

Surviving sexual abuse – Young women

Abuse & Violence - helpful info

The gay and lesbian counselling service

Superchilled is also someone who may be able to help. Send him an anonymous email if you want… I am sure he would do everything in his power to guide you in a better direction than I am able.

Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree

I am utterly head over heels in love with this new album. It has been on constant rotation in our house the past week. 'Road to somewhere' is my favourite tune so far - simply lush - it is like swimming in a pond of honey on a warm, golden, spring day.

The two tracks she sings below are live versions from the album. The first track is 'Clowns' and the second - my favourite - 'Road to somwehere'

Enjoy!

The PM x

Be thankful for what you've got - Massive Attack

Yes, this is probably the only time you'll see a woman doing a striptease on my blog.

Sensational strip and the best mix I've ever heard for this track.

I adore the 'Hiiiiie' when she's walking in....

Enjoy!

Snippety update....

It is a grey old day in Sydney today. I personally love the wet weather and the country really needs it badly. The building has remained upright over night and it doesn't look like too much more of the road has caved in either. The lovely buttocked policeman had gone this morning only to have been replaced with someone who's buttocks were less lovely and with a far less sunny disposition.



I remain glad I don't live so close to this giant hole in the ground... all those buildings around it look tense with anticipation of sliding down into the big mud puddle. Fingers crossed no one gets hurt. Even when it hasn't been raining, I haven't liked the look of the support structures holding everything up in the air... 'flimsy' springs to mind....

So, whoever is in charge of these things.... The additional view would be nice, though if you could get just everyone out first, all their belongings and find them somewhere equally nice to live as well please, otherwise leave it, thanks.

Snippets

- One of my most favourite things of late is looking out onto the harbour when I walk down to my car in the morning. Tonight though, it is perhaps under threat. There is a rather large, deep building site to our right that has three massively high buildings around it. The roadway between the building site and the building right next to us has collapsed into the building site. With police everywhere, they might have to evacuate the building. It’s a rather large hole and the garage of the building is about 4 feet under water already, so not looking good. Sydney has had a few building collapse around building sites lately…. I’ll keep you posted.



The building site in question is about 7 stories down in front of this historic house which is currently 'under renovation'. The freshly missing road was between the building site and the red brick building which you see in the corner of the pic... for the moment....




- It’s my birthday on Friday, so it is birthday festival week time. Nothing planned except Lemon tart at work on Friday and doing my best to avoid all the rest of other people fancy ideas. Apparently I am turning 38. A terribly nasty, vicious, unsubstantiated rumour if ever I heard one… Dearly beloved and I are heading south to spend it with two of my most favourite men in the whole wide world, John and Marinus. They have bought back to life an historic home which is worthy of a post all on it’s own. I know that Vogue Living, or Belle or someone has just photographed it for their glossy pages looking all gorgeous and yummy, so perhaps I’ll do some research on the weekend and get back to you… but I may be hard at work relaxing too…..



- ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’, with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts is worth going to see - I decided I quite enjoyed it. I’m not usually a fan of 'made in Hollywood' movies, as my taste tends towards a more European sensibility. But this wasn’t such a badly told tale about how the US got itself into the unholy mess it has with Afghanistan… and the wider middle east.. 






- I finally got to see one of my favourite performers sing live last week when Bjork finally marched out onto the temporary stage at the Sydney Opera House forecourt. As the full moon rose from behind all of our heads, the visual treat of the Cirque du soleil-esque technicolour staging was matched by the brilliant sound coming from both her vocal chords and her musicians. It was a wow night. Seriously wow. Wow wow even.



- Looks like 2008 will be THE year of the female chanteuse for me… I have all of the albums of the following artists heading our way. First it was Bjork, next up is Cesaria Evora, in concert at the Sydney Opera House in early March. That will simply be magic. Her musical soundscape is quite unique and perfect for transporting you away to a relaxed, bare-feet-in-the-sand, kinda place. k.d is also on her way with her ‘Watershed’ tour…. Now if only Annie Lennox would announce tour dates as well, I would be the happiest boy in the whole wide world.





- I’m still struggling with all of the changes to my social landscape and the friendships that have dramatically altered from where I was twelve months ago. I just want to know what the hell happened and why did it all happen at exactly the same time???





- We have tried to hang a painting on the weekend, but the hooks have fallen down. Twice. There is too much moisture in the air and the hooks don’t seem to be sticking to the wall. We found the most gorgeous clock too, after a few months of serious looking. However, as we stood back, admiring its beautiful simplicity, it dropped effortlessly to the floor from its lofty position on the wall. Glass was everywhere and the aluminium has also dented at 6 o’clock . Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… I do think it could have lasted more than twenty minutes after getting it home. Fortunately it still works and we have been able to work the dent out. 5.30 remains less than perfect, but all it needs now is just a very big piece of round glass… and a stronger hook attached to the foundations of the building.



- Beloved is breathing down my neck right now, so I suppose I should put down my pen and go crawl into bed. Gym in the morning, so I have a 5.20am start. Yikes in advance, as I just know this torrential rain is going to be around in the morning, even if the building beside us may not. The only possible hiccup is that my car is parked in the upstairs garage of the aforementioned precariously balanced building. Do I go and ask the beautifully buttocked policeman I befriended earlier if I can take it out or leave just it in the hands of the gods?

Night all!

... didn't know I was looking for love, till I found you...

When I started this blog, I had no real direction of where I was going to go with it. I knew I liked writing. I am a big communicator and I really enjoyed telling stories, so blogging seemed an ideal outlet for some of my untapped creative pursuits away from fashion.



Way back then, I had a lot more spare time up my sleeve too. It made it a lot easier to sit, think and ponder where I was going with certain stories. The one rule I always stuck with though, was being totally true to who I was. No hiding behind facades, there was no need for smoke and mirrors – unless it served to enhance the overall sense of mischief and fun. I was as honest as I had ever been and found it incredibly liberating! Having said that, I also believe, quite adamantly that you “never let the truth get in the way of a good story”, which is a bit of a life- motto for me.

After a bit of pondering on my blogging holiday, I thought to myself that the last thing I ever expected from my blog was to find a partner out of it. I had a Gaydar profile for about ten minutes, many years back, but never really took to the whole Internet dating thing at all. It just wasn’t my thing. I believed then, as I do now, that nothing beats a live appearance to make new friends and create a lasting bond of real value. I was also determinedly single and addicted to remaining so. I actually couldn’t possibly have been more allergic to being partnered up with someone in my life ever. I had even stayed away from the shagging business for close to two years, such was my fear of love, and/ or love imposters rearing their ugly and unwanted heads in my direction.

I think it did get a bit silly in the end though, that whole celibacy thing I went through. Eventually, I started to thinking that surely, someone out there wouldn’t mind having sex with me, without feeling the need for skipping down the aisle after ten minutes of holding hands in the dark? I moved cities and found Melbourne even more frustrating than Sydney. Firstly, I couldn’t tell who was gay, straight, both, or merely as confused as I was. I found Melbourne to be quite sexless. It had wonderful possibilities though, but navigating through them was a nightmare. The shopping though was fantastic and it became my sex substitute.

Yet despite my honesty and candid openness about the limits of my emotional availability, a few men who did happen to wander across my path thought they were onto boyfriend material. I was never convinced, of course, but how do you instil common sense in a man with stars in his eyes - apart from whacking him over the forehead with a lump of 4 x 2. Lump of wood it eventually was, on several occasions, before they caught up and we finally found ourselves arriving on the same page. It is a shame that it sometimes takes such severe measures to bring about a rebalanced reality. I just ended up with anger, feelings of hurt and rejection being thrown with force and gusto back at me, like I had left them standing at the aisle in front of all their friends and family looking like a fool. This all seemed to occur on, or not long after the second date, which is what really got me. Where was the sense of perspective? Can’t we just have dinner, a nice evening of fine wine and conversation and possibly some hot, horny sex without having to decide on the pattern for the front of the wedding invitationss? No one was a winner in the end and all that remains sadly, is broken friendships, broken hearts, pain, trauma and hysterical drama, all of which I remain allergic to, so won’t bother going back to see how the dust has settled. Sad.

Then, in August 2007, when Richard sent me an email, telling me he enjoyed reading my blog and would I be possibly interested in meeting up for a coffee, I was suitably non-plussed about the whole idea. Eventually, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to just say hello to another human being, so I set down clear rules of engagement. Crowded place – middle of the day – and nothing beyond the latte’s. I turned up at the allocated time and place and of course, the rest is history. Certainly, it was a complete turn about from where I had been and thought I was going, but it was totally inexplicable. One of those strange things that come along once in a lifetime I suppose. As they once sang, “I didn’t know I was looking for love, till I found you”. But there he was. Sitting there with big grin on his face and a corresponding look of terror on mine, as I knew exactly what it was all about.

So here I am today. Looking back at my blogging history and wondering what the next conversation will be? What is my next story? Where is my next adventure? I seemed to have finished some of the conversations I had been having within myself, which started this whole thing off.

I started an interesting conversation with a lovely Canadian about Sexy Daddies, which is still up in the air, unfinished, but now inappropriate to continue for the moment. However, there are things left to say…

Blogging has given me some wonderful new friendships as well as bringing down the curtains on another. It happens, but we have simply grown apart, up and away from each other, leaving little to say unless the right questions are asked. We ended up with their elephant sitting in the corner and we had to politely ignore it, even though we all had our own elephants which we had talked about non-stop since forever – but their elephant was supposed to be invisible, so I suppose it just got too crowded with all these big bright, highly visible elephants sitting around drinking coffee and not saying very much at all.



I was very fortunate to spend New Years with my two favourite blogging discoveries of 07. Richard and Brenton have bought so much more laughter, mischief and mayhem to my life. They also bought a punch up with a never-say-die attitude crack whore too, but that story can be for later, when we’re all much older and the bruises have gone down…. There will be so much more mischief to write about in the future. There is rich fodder with these two in my life....much more trouble, much more laughter, a whole lot more vodka and some genuine understanding of where we are all at together in this little world we all share. That's the best bit. Simply finding a friend. There are many more exciting adventures planned for 2008, so yes, I think I’ll be back to my blogging with more regularity now. Bring it on – I’m ready.

Bruce Weber

Flicking through an old Vogue magazine from 1997 the other day, I came across a series of Weber images from the "Bear Pond' era of his photography, that I had completely forgotten about! There isn't much else for me to say except.....

..... Woof!

On the street where I live....

Well, this is where I am living now. You really can't beat living so close to the best aspect of life in Sydney and that is being able to look out on the harbour every day. It is an ever changing view that never fails to stop and make me stare.

The first (poorly photographed and constructed) montage is the park and its view to the north east in front of our apartment building. Manly is off in the distance to the right of the photo and the city is to the left.



The second montage is the eastern view of Potts Point looking back towards the west and the city direction. No city views, but "I no complain", as our local greengrocer says. The roof of 'Boomerang', one of Sydney's more notable homes is clearly recognisible from its multi-colour tile roof. Only now, that I have seen it from above, do I realise where it gets it name from. The block of ground it sits on is 'boomerang' shaped, with the guest wing closest to us, then there is the right angle turn to the waterfront with the main house in the main section. They filmed Mission Impossible 2 there - and last sold for AUD$23 or 26 million? It is a breathtaking home that I was very fortunate to visit once for a fashion show that was set in the front garden and swimming pool. I have to say I wouldn't mind living there myself. I could get my dogs then!



The last picture is of the pool area downstairs, where sometimes, if you are very quiet and stay very still, local wildlife comes out to sun themselves, to languish, relax and graze the afternoon away.

Noice.

My all time favourite song

I am really putting myself out on a limb here, because kids of my generation 'don't listen to this sort of music'. Nevertheless, here it is, my all time favourite song. The number one. The one song that stops me in my tracks, the one tune that makes my heart skip a beat... it is the one song to rule them all.

A couple of times I have played it to friends and family, only to be met with looks of disdain, confusion, ridicule and bewilderment. I've never been bothered by their reaction and I remain not, because I just love this song. This is my song. It magically rolls into one lovely tune, everything I feel about love, romance and that wonderful unattainable dream, except it is not so unattainable, it seems! I also love and adore 30's jazz, so this was just the icing on the cake for me!

This YouTube version is backdropped by silent film footage of 'Phantom of the Opera'. No idea why, but it's here for this particular vocal version of the song - not the footage.

So without further ado... 'The very thought of you', this version by the Ray Noble Orchestra. Recorded in 1936. Close your eyes, lay back and dream just a little. Hope someone else enjoys?!!!

Told you I'd be back.....

Hello again! It’s been a while… quite a while even, when I think about it. Here I am though, back at my 'post', wondering what to write. Luckily, I suppose, it's not a matter of what to write about, more what to write about first.

So, maybe tonight is not going to be about anything in particular except to introduce one of my major themes for '08. It is perhaps more about rebuilding the connection with all the interesting, dynamic, fabulous, sexy, worldly and wise people from this bright blue ball we all live on and with whom I had started to build quite fantastic relationships last year. It will take me a short while to find my 'typing voice' again too, but I am sure it hasn't wandered off too far.

So much has changed in my life since I was here last I am confidant that ‘change’, as a topic and my theme for 08, will loom large in my post’s to come.

As an early teenager, even up in to my early thirties, ‘change’ was something forced on me against my will. I was thrown around like a plastic bag in a cyclone. It was exhausting, painful and seriously hard work. It felt like excruciating torture and seemingly I had no control of where I ended up.

But the last few years, tired and weary from being thrown around by this crazed lunatic energy, I started to grab the proverbial bull by the horns, dig my heels in and ride that bull till it layed down in the dirt first, exhausted and broken. I slid off the bull with less wounds and tears than in years past, so maybe I finally learned a thing or two about avoiding the pointy bits.

These days I am chasing the bulls of change around the paddock and jumping on for rides when they least expect it. It’s great fun! Sure, there are still bruises occasionally and I get a bit dusty sometimes, but generally, I have learnt to smile and enjoy the ride and will go looking for change all of my own volition, rather than the other way around. I do know, that it has been a major force in my life, so it was time to embrace it rather than remain fearful of it.

Rich and I are going along as strong as ever (for two people who have only known each other five months!). We have moved into our own apartment (at the three-month mark) and now we are planning our first trip to Europe together. We’re off to meet his parents in the UK. We’re meeting his brother and his family in Italy and absolutely no one at all that we know in Paris. I’m really looking forward to the eight days in Paris the most, for obvious reasons. I have to pretend I'm excited about meeting his family, but really, does anyone look forward to the first meeting of the outlaws? It's like planning a trip to the dentist - am I right or what?

Umbria in Italy looks seriously sensational, where we have a farmhouse in the countryside for 8 days to relax, unwind and get to know a less scary side to his family. Richard's brother and his wife have two small children that look great fun, but we will be living in one great big house all together, so best behaviour will be called for. Shiny smiles, polite conversation and no swearing, which will really test me. I do have a tendancy to say the ‘F’ word like it is an everyday noun, verb and an adjective, but there will be little ears about listening in, so fingers crossed I prevail as the good 'uncle-out-law'.

I'd best be off to bed, I have to be up at 5.15am to grunt, groan and sweat at my gym instructor. One little thing I can mention about some of the changes right now, is that blondes seem to be fading just a little in my lust goggles. There have been some lovely dark haired models wandering in front of me of late. This one below in particular seems to have something quite pleasant about his neck…. maybe it’s the way it holds up his face. I haven’t quite put my finger on it yet… but one thing is for certain... I did end up having something to talk about after all and that is that 'change is all around'.

Back soon

Missing in action....

Hi groovers.... It's been ages, I know... I've been very wrapped up with the shiny new hubby and all of my spare time has been spent staring at him. I've actually been pretty busy as well, so it's not been all about staring at Rich. My life has been full to overflowing with naked footballers, famous and wonderful writers, birthday parties, drinks, dinners, dance parties, fine dining and driving from one end of the world to the other... living out of a suitcase, I think it is called.

We are spending only our 5th night apart tonight since we met all those months ago... hence my very short posting.

Blogging holidays seem to be 'de rigeur' these days, so p'rps, I am accidently taking one of these?

I still have lots of things to say and have fresh new things to talk about as well, so I will be back - sort of soonerish, but not immediately. I still have lots going on in the background of my life which I will write about when it is over and dealt with and I am able to write about it once I have dealt with it... not meaning to be mysterious... but I'm just not ready to start a new conversation on a few subjects just yet.

i hope your lives are scooting along all fine and dandy... I read about them when I get the chance, which is why I haven't been writing any of my own words.. I'm just enjoying yours when I can.

Take it easy.. we'll chat again soon.

C x

Off Travelling

ATB- Alcarda

With enormous thanks to ATB, my brain is off travelling today. I am in far off places - the future, the past, but definately not the 'now'. I am a bit tired of the 'now'. I need a rest from it. I need 'easy'. Enough, and all right already, OK?

I can tell you that the future is my favourite place to be right now.

It is sunny and warm, the sand is white and the water looks like blue diamonds stretching as far as the eye can see. My lovely Englishman is there and I see all my friends smiling and laughing, locked in easy conversations with the people around them, simply enjoying each others company. The drinks in their hands are brightly coloured tropical indulgences, with just enough vodka and rum to ensure the crowd remains playful and fun. Brenton's drink even has an umbrella in it! The music is pumping and a few people are dancing over in one corner of the deck, overlooking the ocean.

Rich walks up and puts his fingers through mine and he gently kisses my neck. He's had a massive grin on his face since early this morning, which looked just like mine.

Why, you ask?

Stay tuned as the future unfolds....



ATB - In love with the DJ

Pictorial Weekend, Part Two

One of our walks on the weekend, took in the Botanical Gardens. Being Spring, the flowers were out in full force and the Cherry blossoms were especially wonderful. The Flying Foxes thought so too, with them flying around in the middle of the day doing the things that they do - hang up side down eating the fruit and crapping everywhere. Nevertheless, they were an amazing sight amongst the flowers and the Japanese weddings taking place amongst the falling liquid debris.



Drum roll please… Here he is - the man of the moment – Mr Fireworks-in-my-heart-every-morning - Richard. This is our second ever photo together, taken at my cousin’s wedding in Noosa a few weeks back. He is better than chocolate and red wine and all the other things I used to like better than men including having fillings put in my teeth and root canal therapy.

Postscript: there are a few Japanese wedding video's going back to Japan with two poofters kissing, holding hands and canoodling in the background greenery ☺ ☺ ☺